Post by spastic bard on Mar 21, 2008 15:03:25 GMT -5
This was written for a competition on our NWN server's forum run by Sarah and Tom. Since I was cut off from the game while at college I figured I would give the prompt a shot. They asked us to write a situation with our characters involving a dream, and something going wrong. This is the product, which is well over 14 pages in word. I wrote it in two days and was very surprised with how well it came out. I think it is my favorite finished piece, at the moment.
For anyone outside the NWN circle, Aurania is the daughter of one of my other characters, Kethaniya. The two of them serve me well as muses because they are not exactly your normal paladins. Both of them will have some sort of bio posted later, and you should expect to see a lot more featuring both of them.
I owe Kevin, Sarah, Angela, and John a bit of thanks whenever I write in the NWN world. Their characters had heavy influences on all of mine. Especially the little demon-blessed family tree (At least the stupid gene doesn't affect the girls ).
This is still being edited. I've changed a little bit since the original posting of it, but expect more to be tweeked.
__________________________________________
Part I
“Don’t worry Elister. We can nap out here for a bit and continue towards the inn later. If I don’t take a rest now, I’ll never make it. If you’re so worried, you can take watch while I sleep.”
Aurania smiled softly at her familiar as she unrolled her bed roll. The fairy dragon looked insulted, but eventually crawled over to rest along Aurania’s side as she settled down. She knew Elister would not pass up the chance to nap. Besides, they were well off the path and no where near the wildlife. They had nothing to worry about. Within minutes, mistress and familiar alike drifted off to sleep.
______
A soft, warm glowing light fell over her as she walked past one of the large tower windows. She could feel the tension, almost ever present in her shoulders and back, melt away with the sun’s careful touch. It seemed like all her troubles vanished the moment she entered the Temple of Mystra. Every since she was little, the temple was a place of peace for her. Even as parts were added and changed, she quickly learned each corner and detail with the dedication of the most earnest student. It was almost like home to her.
However, as soon as Aurania opened her eyes to take in the all too familiar view, the strange details and odd colored windows she saw made her hesitate for a second. This was not the temple of Brosna, but such was a fleeting thought. The temple felt warm and familiar never the less. She had known this place her entire life. Eventually someone would come and find her here; someone always did. The thought was pleasing, and cleared away any of the faint doubts she had. Looking down, Aura was pleased to see she was not wearing her heavy armor, but a lovely gown of violet that seemed very fitting. Her hair, usually loose, was partially up in a detailed style. She felt herself smile. Why in the world would she be wearing armor? What a childish thought! Of course she was in a gown. Tonight was a very special night, after all.
Tonight was her birthday. She was finally considered to be of age to the city of Waterdeep, and as was tradition, her parents were holding an elaborate celebration to welcome their daughter into adulthood. Usually the balls and parties were drab and dull for a young playful child, but now… Now she could wear her hair up, wear a lovely gown (with a low neckline! She felt a little giddy at the thought), and dance with any gentleman caller who asked! And she was sure they would ask. Like her mother, she was growing to be a beautiful young lady. Everyone said so. She heard it all over the halls from the servants, and the lords who often came to discuss politics with her esteemed lord father. If only she were still in her chambers she could admire her appearance one more time in the looking glass. However, for some peculiar reason, she had decided to venture towards the family chapel instead. She had no idea why.
A voice from the hall interrupted her thoughts. “Mi’lady! There you are! It is time for your presentation. You must not keep your parents waiting!”
She turned and smiled. Finally.
The walk from the chapel to the main hall seemed to only take a step. She didn’t even hear the family herald announce her name. Nor did she remember anyone’s reaction. It seemed the moment she left the temple she was now mingling with guests, drinking her first glass of non-watered down wine and exchanging gossip with ladies. A handsome young lord asked her to dance, and of course she agreed. Her glass of wine was gone and now she was moving across the dance floor with the grace and ease expected of her class. Her lessons had been top notch, after all. For some reason the crowd seemed to vanish, and the music (what music? Where did that come from?) stopped with her standing in front of her parents. Her dancing partner vanished along with everyone else, and she had no choice but to face them. Certainly they were proud of her? She had done no wrong this evening!
She looked first to her mother. Her mother, though now older, was still the picture of lady-like beauty. Her long golden hair was up as well, though a few of the wavy locks fell around her face. Her figure was so delicate (Where did that come from? She was anything but delicate!) next to the imposing figure of her father (imposing? Dad?). Her father, an elderly man who was many years her mother’s senior, was still the picture of power. He was heavy set, with dark features and a long beard. His age was sadly showing, but he looked at his daughter with nothing but pride. Before her thoughts could linger on how strange her father looked, her mother came down and hugged her.
“Soshia, we’re so proud of you this day”
At first the name made sense. But only at first.
“Soshia?” The effort to talk felt heavy and slow, like she was forcing to speak under water.
Her mother stepped back and brushed a lock of hair away from Soshia’s (Aurania’s!) face. “Of course! Honored with your grandmother’s name. She would be so proud of you as well.”
Her chest felt heavy. Her name was not Soshia. It was, indeed, her grandmother’s name, but her mother never spoke of her, especially with a note of love in her voice. Soshia… No, Aurania looked at her mother with a new fear. This was not her mother. She had her mother’s voice, she had her mother’s looks (kind of) but her hand was too soft! Her mother could wield a sword as well as any knight, and her frame was lithe and powerful, even at her age! Aurania took a step back. She felt like she could cry, but she could not feel any tears on her face. Everything seemed distant, even though she was standing right there. She looked at her mother… It was her mother, but at the same time it was not. Her eyes darted towards her father (hardly). No, this man was definitely not her father. The voice in her head was right. Her father was blonde, and he was only barely older then her mother. Her father was one of the most caring men alive, and he made this old man look like a stone. A round, fat sort of stone.
This wasn’t right at all. And for some illogical reason, Aurania felt the need to tell them all. Again, her voice felt strangely muddled, like she was drugged or really as distant as she felt.
“You’re my mother. Only you’re not. My mother left this place. She never married a nobleman! She married a man from Benzor, and he is definitely not this man!”
Her mother continued to smile at her, as if she couldn’t hear anything Aurania was saying. The man who was supposedly her father continued to look at her with pride. What in the Gods’ name was wrong with these people?!
Her voice got louder. And clearer.
“I don’t belong here, I live in Brosna. I’ve lived there all my life. My name is Aurania, not Soshia! I was named after your friend, not my grandmother!”
And it all clicked. Aurania felt as if she could blush. Any minute she was going to wake up now and feel like an idiot.
Really.. Any moment now…
…
The music continued, and the people all gathered around again in a dance. Aurania looked around, bewildered. No. This is where the dream was supposed to end. It always ended right after she yelled at her “mother.” Even though it had been a few years since the last time she had the dream, Aurania felt it all rushing back to her. Ever since she forced her mother to tell her about her family, Aurania had always dreamed about what life could have been like. The thought was a guilty one now, but back when she was 7? How could a little girl not dream about being a noble lady? Unfortunately her daydreams haunted many nights when she was growing up… And it always played out the same way, till now.
Aurania wished she could continue to harp on her thoughts, but for some reason it was incredibly distracting to find the dream continuing. She no longer felt distant from the scene; she was definitely there. She could feel the body heat of too many people crowding around her, the music was causing her head to hurt, and whoever designed the dress she was wearing needed to learn a thing or to about breathing! Finding herself on the verge of choking, Aurania made her way through the crowd towards the large doors. She had no idea if they lead anywhere, but she hoped they could let her out of this room. She had never had the time to learn the layout of her dream home. She continued to towards the doors, though they never appeared to get any closer. Frustrated, she broke out into a run, despite the difficulties her dress gave her. After what seemed like hours, she reached the doors and forced them open.
A bright light blinded her for a moment, and as it cleared she found herself standing in a field. The field looked very unfamiliar, with a few trees along a large stone wall. The trees appeared to be dead, but there were piles of summer green leaves all around. Patches of wild flowers were here and there, and the sky was grey and cold; she felt as if it was going to snow. None of this struck her as odd however. Aurania took a few steps, the clink of her armor breaking the silence of the scene. She winced slightly, wishing the full plate wasn’t so noisy. The last thing she wanted to do was get noticed.
Unfortunately, she did. From across the field two young children looked up from whatever game they were playing (where did they come from?). They both looked to be about 10 or so, and both were remarkably similar. She could tell that one was a boy and one was a girl, but beyond that they almost looked exactly the same. Both had chin length, wavy hair, and wore simple yet elegant tunics of children in some sort of training. The children smiled at her, and beckoned her closer. Aurania approached them, curious as to why they were in the field alone.
The boy, who had a smirk on his face, motioned to the girl impatiently. “C’mon Ani, show the lady you can do it.”
The girl, Ani, frowned and gave Aurania an unsettling look. “But Kei, I can’t even do it when you’re watching, let alone another person!”
The boy, Kei, only grinned more. “It’s just a light spell, moron. I could cast it when I was 3. You’ll never be like the rest of us if you don’t, Ani.”
Ani looked as if she was about to cry. Aurania felt her heart go out to her. Why was Kei being so mean about the spell? (Why do I care so much?) Aurania tried to give the girl a comforting smile, but that only made it worse. Ani sniffled and looked down at the ground, her eyes reflecting her sadness. Kei sighed loudly, and took a step in front of Aurania. “C’mon Aura, show her how it’s done.”
Aurania blinked, and now the boy before her was a grown man. He was tall, powerfully built, with long blonde hair kept back in a low pony tail and an ever present grin. Aurania felt herself smile at the sight of her mentor before her. Behind him stood her mother, watching the two with a look of amusement. This was definitely her mother; a pretty lady who always looked a little out of place not wearing her armor and with her hair cut around shoulder length in golden waves. It always struck Aurania how much her mother and her mentor looked alike, and yet not at all. Her mentor was a bit taller and wore his hair longer (He was always a bit vain..) After her first meeting with the mentor, Aurania had badgered her mother till she admitted his familial relation; he was her uncle and her mother’s twin. His visits were always a source of joy for Aurania, but her mother took them as a mixed blessing. Aurania never knew why (I thought he was her best friend, growing up..)
“Wait till you see this, Ani. Aurania’s got quite the gift.” Her mentor beamed like a proud parent. Her mother, still standing behind him, gave Aurania an encouraging smile. Aurania smiled back, it was much like the one she had just given the little girl her mother now replaced.
She felt like she was 7 again. “Which one do you want to see, Mommy?” Her uncle had always been a tall man, but suddenly she felt even smaller near his frame. Her mother’s too, for that matter.
Her mother shrugged, crossing her arms in front of her. “Surprise me, Aura.”
Those words were magic to Aurania’s ears. If there was one thing she liked to do, it was show off. She liked to think it made her parents pay more attention to her than Tristan. How could they not when she was so talented and wanted to show them everything she could do? Tristan could do the same, if he bothered to talk more often (That isn’t true. They paid just as much attention to Tristan no matter what I did, his speaking habits aside.. ). Closing her eyes, Aurania said the words and the motions. A large spark ignited in her hands-
And the kitchen table was in flames.
Aurania opened her eyes and looked down in surprise. Normally she was too small to see over the table, so her mother let her sit on it while she worked in the kitchen. The house wasn’t too big, considering it was in Brosna, but it suited the family just fine. Sometimes Aurania stood up on the table, making her feel really, really tall. Almost as tall as daddy! And now part of that table, the part across from her and next to her baby brother, was burning. Aurania couldn’t say anything. She wanted to scream, to warn her mother, but no sound escaped her throat. Thankfully, for once, her brother cried out instead.
Her mother returned to the room quickly, and as soon as she saw the flames she reacted. With one arm she grabbed Aurania around the waist, pulling her off the table, and with the other she picked up her baby brother and rushed them both to another room. She smiled at them as she placed them on the floor. “You two wait here a moment. Aura, watch your brother.” And she vanished back into the kitchen.
Aura felt the sickly stab of fear in her stomach. She had always been a good child, and her parents were never the type to yell. But she just set the table on fire! How was her mother going to take that? Aurania took out her momentary fear on her little brother by giving him a glare, as if it was his fault. He just looked back at her, seemingly taking no offense. Her mother returned a few minutes later and Aurania braced herself.
When she found her mother’s arms around her and the sound of laughter, she was a bit confused. Were mothers supposed to hug children who light tables on fire? (Well.. Admittedly… In this family…)
Her mother picked her up with ease, still hugging her. Aurania felt her mother’s lips press on her forehead. “You really are your father’s daughter, Aura.”
For some reason those words scared her. Wasn’t she always her father’s daughter? (Who knew burning kitchen tables ran in the family..) And what did this mean? She was supposed to be a knight, like Mommy! She didn’t want to use magic! Her mother set her down and put two hands on her shoulders, looking at her straight on. Aurania’s blue eyes met her mother’s own gray ones. Despite the happy tone in her mother’s voice, was there a touch of sadness there?
Why was Mommy sad?
(… I’ve always wondered that myself…)
Aurania looked up and found herself standing in a temple. Again, she was herself, armor on and all grown up. She wasn’t sure how she had gotten there from her house in Brosna, but it wasn’t that big of a surprise. She always went to the temple. Aurania looked around, a small frown crossing her face.
This was a temple, but not her temple. It was much smaller, and much more… Lacking in decoration. Aurania looked around at the white and gold banners that fell from the high ceiling, and towards the statue of a knight with his sword. Despite being a follower of Mystra, she recognized a more familiar family patron. The statue was of Torm. This was a temple dedicated to Torm, and she was not alone in it.
At the foot of the alter stood a very young squire, dressed in simple practice armor and with a very old practice blade in her right hand. She could tell the squire was female, due to her frame and the long gold braid that trailed far down her back. Aurania hesitated and wondered if she was seeing a younger version of herself, or something else entirely. The girl looked to be about 11 or 12, which was the age Aurania had started her training in sword work. But up until now she had taken the place of herself in all of the scenes, and a temple of Torm made little sense.
The way her thoughts fell into place was strangely enlightening. Yes, she realized she was dreaming. She had been dreaming all this time. She was still in it, however, and that wasn’t a surprise. She had been aware of the dream before, at the very beginning, but her senses had abandoned her as soon as the scene changed. If she hadn’t left the dream the first time she realized what it was, she knew she wouldn’t leave now. She was going to be forced to stay and watch this entire thing play out, whether she liked it or not. Aurania normally welcomed dreams; her mentor had told her there was great importance in them. But the scenes she had walked through were… Memories, for the most part. How were they important? Except for the part with the two children…
Aurania’s thoughts were interrupted when she realized the girl at the alter was speaking. She was praying, out loud, her voice directed at the statue of Torm. Aurania found herself listening, despite the voice of doubt in her head. For some reason this scene was different from all the others… It felt like she didn’t belong here, nor was it was business to listen to what was between this child and her god. Still, the girl’s voice broke through her own thoughts, and she felt drawn into her words.
“I know you have picked me, though I wonder why.” The girl said this flatly, and Aurania could imagine her glaring at the statue. “Is it because no one else will? Is it because you pity me since I fit no where else?”
Despite the girl’s serious, deadpan tone, Aurania could feel so much more beyond the words. They spoke of years of pain, of sadness, of hopelessness. The girl was saying so much more then what her words betrayed.
The girl started to pace, quickly, almost as if she was trying to find another means to vent her own frustration, rather then let it influence her words. The girl seemed awfully wise and under control for someone so young. Aurania knew well of Torm’s discipline; but this girl seemed to have mastered it beyond a human level.
“Lord Derthor says I’m not meant to be here. My grandfather argues for my cause almost every day. Lord Derthor says I question too much, feel too deeply, and have little regard for rules that do not fit my emotions,” the girl stopped pacing, looking up at the statue again. “So why did you pick me? Since I’m such a problem case? See? I even question you now!”
The girl’s voice betrayed its first quiver of anger, and it forced her to pause. She sighed deeply, and dropped her sword onto the floor. The dull steel seemed to echo thunderously as it hit the marble floor. She remained quiet till the echo faded back to silence. “Lord Derthor says I question too often, which is the gravest insult to your honor. He says I’m not fit to serve the Lord of Duty because I don’t know the first thing about it. And not only am I ruining my own sense of honor, but my grandfather’s as well, since he keeps making excuses for me.”
The girl’s voice returned to its level calm again, and her head tilted forward in a sign of shame. The more Aurania heard, the more she felt a strange weight settling in her stomach. She should not be hearing this. This wasn’t her dream. Somehow she had gotten off her own path and stumbled into someone else’s. She wished she could leave, but there was no door behind her, nor any other door in the room.
“Do you know what you’ve gotten yourself into?” Aurania looked back at the girl, hearing the quiet change in her tone. She suddenly sounded more the age she looked. The girl sat down on the floor at the foot of the statue, still facing towards it and away from Aurania. “Because I’m not ready to give myself to a cause. I’m too incomplete myself.”
“I know its wrong to have selfish wants, but I can’t help it,” the girl continued on casually, and Aurania continued to listen. “All of my life I’ve been lagging behind everyone else. Everyone in my family has an amazing talent. All I can do is swing a sword and ‘have a good heart.’ You know what my grandfather told me? When I told him I was useless because I couldn’t cast a simple cantrip or start a fire with my hands? He said I had a good heart. So tell me, what good is a good heart if my emotions are considered too weak and vulnerable to have in your knighthood?”
Aurania had to admit it was a good question. It was often with that thought that she wondered about her brother’s training. Her mother’s as well. Not that Torm was an emotionless God; He just seemed a little cold for people like her brother and her mother, who seemed to have the limitless ability to care. Just like her father, for that matter. In fact, Aurania sometimes felt she was the only one in the family who had a limit to her ability to care… Again, her thoughts were cut off once the girl started to speak again, and Aurania was thankful for it.
“My grandfather says you have another order, one that is more fitting to someone like me, and he’s trying to get in touch with an old friend who is a high ranking officer in it. He wants me to go train with them instead, even though I think he’ll miss having me as his squire. I don’t believe it will work any better for me, but since my grandfather is trying so hard… Why don’t I make a deal with you?”
The girl’s request, though it seemed childish, carried with it a complete seriousness. Normally, Aurania would scoff at the idea of a child making a deal with their God… But for some reason she felt he was listening. The girl stood up, picking up her sword and holding it in front of her.
“I want a place to belong. If everyone else in my family belongs to Mystra, I’ll gladly belong to you as long as you really want me here. I will try to work harder once I am moved, and I will follow your law and make my grandfather proud. Please understand the rest of my family cares little for my achievement under your watch, but I’ll cast that aside if you can do this one thing for me,” Aurania felt the girl smile through her words. “I promise, this is a small thing, and it is in exchange for something big. My family is the most important thing to me; so ignoring their wishes is no easy feat. However, it will make it all the easier if…”
Aurania felt herself lean in, so she could hear the girl’s request. The girl’s voice dropped low, as if she was afraid by saying it, she could destroy all hope of it.
“If eventually, I can use magic. Do that and I’m yours till the day I die.”
The girl dropped to one knee, leaning on her practice sword. She was sealing her little deal with her God. Aurania felt like an idiot. The idea of someone wanting to use magic so badly and not being able to… It was so foreign to her. Everyone in her family used magic with ease… Except…
The girl stood up and turned to walk towards the doors. Aurania looked behind her and could see them, and then turned back to watch the girl as she approached. She willed herself to watch the girl’s face, despite the painful heaviness settling around her heart and in her chest. Everyone in her family had some magic capability, whether it be of the weave or god-given… The girl was now a foot in front of Aurania, and she hesitated. The girl looked forward as if she could feel Aurania’s presence, but could not see her. Aurania met the girl’s unseeing gaze. The girl bared a resemblance to her, only her eyes were a gray color and the loose locks of hair had a slight curl to them.
The only person in her family who had trouble using magic was her mother.
The girl walked through Aurania and out the door.
Aurania felt tears fall down her face. It had been strange to feel the image of her young mother walk through her; but for the first time in months she felt like she was close to her. Her mother and father had been gone for awhile now, but for one moment Aurania had been in the same room with her, next to her, and now it was gone.
For anyone outside the NWN circle, Aurania is the daughter of one of my other characters, Kethaniya. The two of them serve me well as muses because they are not exactly your normal paladins. Both of them will have some sort of bio posted later, and you should expect to see a lot more featuring both of them.
I owe Kevin, Sarah, Angela, and John a bit of thanks whenever I write in the NWN world. Their characters had heavy influences on all of mine. Especially the little demon-blessed family tree (At least the stupid gene doesn't affect the girls ).
This is still being edited. I've changed a little bit since the original posting of it, but expect more to be tweeked.
__________________________________________
Part I
“Don’t worry Elister. We can nap out here for a bit and continue towards the inn later. If I don’t take a rest now, I’ll never make it. If you’re so worried, you can take watch while I sleep.”
Aurania smiled softly at her familiar as she unrolled her bed roll. The fairy dragon looked insulted, but eventually crawled over to rest along Aurania’s side as she settled down. She knew Elister would not pass up the chance to nap. Besides, they were well off the path and no where near the wildlife. They had nothing to worry about. Within minutes, mistress and familiar alike drifted off to sleep.
______
A soft, warm glowing light fell over her as she walked past one of the large tower windows. She could feel the tension, almost ever present in her shoulders and back, melt away with the sun’s careful touch. It seemed like all her troubles vanished the moment she entered the Temple of Mystra. Every since she was little, the temple was a place of peace for her. Even as parts were added and changed, she quickly learned each corner and detail with the dedication of the most earnest student. It was almost like home to her.
However, as soon as Aurania opened her eyes to take in the all too familiar view, the strange details and odd colored windows she saw made her hesitate for a second. This was not the temple of Brosna, but such was a fleeting thought. The temple felt warm and familiar never the less. She had known this place her entire life. Eventually someone would come and find her here; someone always did. The thought was pleasing, and cleared away any of the faint doubts she had. Looking down, Aura was pleased to see she was not wearing her heavy armor, but a lovely gown of violet that seemed very fitting. Her hair, usually loose, was partially up in a detailed style. She felt herself smile. Why in the world would she be wearing armor? What a childish thought! Of course she was in a gown. Tonight was a very special night, after all.
Tonight was her birthday. She was finally considered to be of age to the city of Waterdeep, and as was tradition, her parents were holding an elaborate celebration to welcome their daughter into adulthood. Usually the balls and parties were drab and dull for a young playful child, but now… Now she could wear her hair up, wear a lovely gown (with a low neckline! She felt a little giddy at the thought), and dance with any gentleman caller who asked! And she was sure they would ask. Like her mother, she was growing to be a beautiful young lady. Everyone said so. She heard it all over the halls from the servants, and the lords who often came to discuss politics with her esteemed lord father. If only she were still in her chambers she could admire her appearance one more time in the looking glass. However, for some peculiar reason, she had decided to venture towards the family chapel instead. She had no idea why.
A voice from the hall interrupted her thoughts. “Mi’lady! There you are! It is time for your presentation. You must not keep your parents waiting!”
She turned and smiled. Finally.
The walk from the chapel to the main hall seemed to only take a step. She didn’t even hear the family herald announce her name. Nor did she remember anyone’s reaction. It seemed the moment she left the temple she was now mingling with guests, drinking her first glass of non-watered down wine and exchanging gossip with ladies. A handsome young lord asked her to dance, and of course she agreed. Her glass of wine was gone and now she was moving across the dance floor with the grace and ease expected of her class. Her lessons had been top notch, after all. For some reason the crowd seemed to vanish, and the music (what music? Where did that come from?) stopped with her standing in front of her parents. Her dancing partner vanished along with everyone else, and she had no choice but to face them. Certainly they were proud of her? She had done no wrong this evening!
She looked first to her mother. Her mother, though now older, was still the picture of lady-like beauty. Her long golden hair was up as well, though a few of the wavy locks fell around her face. Her figure was so delicate (Where did that come from? She was anything but delicate!) next to the imposing figure of her father (imposing? Dad?). Her father, an elderly man who was many years her mother’s senior, was still the picture of power. He was heavy set, with dark features and a long beard. His age was sadly showing, but he looked at his daughter with nothing but pride. Before her thoughts could linger on how strange her father looked, her mother came down and hugged her.
“Soshia, we’re so proud of you this day”
At first the name made sense. But only at first.
“Soshia?” The effort to talk felt heavy and slow, like she was forcing to speak under water.
Her mother stepped back and brushed a lock of hair away from Soshia’s (Aurania’s!) face. “Of course! Honored with your grandmother’s name. She would be so proud of you as well.”
Her chest felt heavy. Her name was not Soshia. It was, indeed, her grandmother’s name, but her mother never spoke of her, especially with a note of love in her voice. Soshia… No, Aurania looked at her mother with a new fear. This was not her mother. She had her mother’s voice, she had her mother’s looks (kind of) but her hand was too soft! Her mother could wield a sword as well as any knight, and her frame was lithe and powerful, even at her age! Aurania took a step back. She felt like she could cry, but she could not feel any tears on her face. Everything seemed distant, even though she was standing right there. She looked at her mother… It was her mother, but at the same time it was not. Her eyes darted towards her father (hardly). No, this man was definitely not her father. The voice in her head was right. Her father was blonde, and he was only barely older then her mother. Her father was one of the most caring men alive, and he made this old man look like a stone. A round, fat sort of stone.
This wasn’t right at all. And for some illogical reason, Aurania felt the need to tell them all. Again, her voice felt strangely muddled, like she was drugged or really as distant as she felt.
“You’re my mother. Only you’re not. My mother left this place. She never married a nobleman! She married a man from Benzor, and he is definitely not this man!”
Her mother continued to smile at her, as if she couldn’t hear anything Aurania was saying. The man who was supposedly her father continued to look at her with pride. What in the Gods’ name was wrong with these people?!
Her voice got louder. And clearer.
“I don’t belong here, I live in Brosna. I’ve lived there all my life. My name is Aurania, not Soshia! I was named after your friend, not my grandmother!”
And it all clicked. Aurania felt as if she could blush. Any minute she was going to wake up now and feel like an idiot.
Really.. Any moment now…
…
The music continued, and the people all gathered around again in a dance. Aurania looked around, bewildered. No. This is where the dream was supposed to end. It always ended right after she yelled at her “mother.” Even though it had been a few years since the last time she had the dream, Aurania felt it all rushing back to her. Ever since she forced her mother to tell her about her family, Aurania had always dreamed about what life could have been like. The thought was a guilty one now, but back when she was 7? How could a little girl not dream about being a noble lady? Unfortunately her daydreams haunted many nights when she was growing up… And it always played out the same way, till now.
Aurania wished she could continue to harp on her thoughts, but for some reason it was incredibly distracting to find the dream continuing. She no longer felt distant from the scene; she was definitely there. She could feel the body heat of too many people crowding around her, the music was causing her head to hurt, and whoever designed the dress she was wearing needed to learn a thing or to about breathing! Finding herself on the verge of choking, Aurania made her way through the crowd towards the large doors. She had no idea if they lead anywhere, but she hoped they could let her out of this room. She had never had the time to learn the layout of her dream home. She continued to towards the doors, though they never appeared to get any closer. Frustrated, she broke out into a run, despite the difficulties her dress gave her. After what seemed like hours, she reached the doors and forced them open.
A bright light blinded her for a moment, and as it cleared she found herself standing in a field. The field looked very unfamiliar, with a few trees along a large stone wall. The trees appeared to be dead, but there were piles of summer green leaves all around. Patches of wild flowers were here and there, and the sky was grey and cold; she felt as if it was going to snow. None of this struck her as odd however. Aurania took a few steps, the clink of her armor breaking the silence of the scene. She winced slightly, wishing the full plate wasn’t so noisy. The last thing she wanted to do was get noticed.
Unfortunately, she did. From across the field two young children looked up from whatever game they were playing (where did they come from?). They both looked to be about 10 or so, and both were remarkably similar. She could tell that one was a boy and one was a girl, but beyond that they almost looked exactly the same. Both had chin length, wavy hair, and wore simple yet elegant tunics of children in some sort of training. The children smiled at her, and beckoned her closer. Aurania approached them, curious as to why they were in the field alone.
The boy, who had a smirk on his face, motioned to the girl impatiently. “C’mon Ani, show the lady you can do it.”
The girl, Ani, frowned and gave Aurania an unsettling look. “But Kei, I can’t even do it when you’re watching, let alone another person!”
The boy, Kei, only grinned more. “It’s just a light spell, moron. I could cast it when I was 3. You’ll never be like the rest of us if you don’t, Ani.”
Ani looked as if she was about to cry. Aurania felt her heart go out to her. Why was Kei being so mean about the spell? (Why do I care so much?) Aurania tried to give the girl a comforting smile, but that only made it worse. Ani sniffled and looked down at the ground, her eyes reflecting her sadness. Kei sighed loudly, and took a step in front of Aurania. “C’mon Aura, show her how it’s done.”
Aurania blinked, and now the boy before her was a grown man. He was tall, powerfully built, with long blonde hair kept back in a low pony tail and an ever present grin. Aurania felt herself smile at the sight of her mentor before her. Behind him stood her mother, watching the two with a look of amusement. This was definitely her mother; a pretty lady who always looked a little out of place not wearing her armor and with her hair cut around shoulder length in golden waves. It always struck Aurania how much her mother and her mentor looked alike, and yet not at all. Her mentor was a bit taller and wore his hair longer (He was always a bit vain..) After her first meeting with the mentor, Aurania had badgered her mother till she admitted his familial relation; he was her uncle and her mother’s twin. His visits were always a source of joy for Aurania, but her mother took them as a mixed blessing. Aurania never knew why (I thought he was her best friend, growing up..)
“Wait till you see this, Ani. Aurania’s got quite the gift.” Her mentor beamed like a proud parent. Her mother, still standing behind him, gave Aurania an encouraging smile. Aurania smiled back, it was much like the one she had just given the little girl her mother now replaced.
She felt like she was 7 again. “Which one do you want to see, Mommy?” Her uncle had always been a tall man, but suddenly she felt even smaller near his frame. Her mother’s too, for that matter.
Her mother shrugged, crossing her arms in front of her. “Surprise me, Aura.”
Those words were magic to Aurania’s ears. If there was one thing she liked to do, it was show off. She liked to think it made her parents pay more attention to her than Tristan. How could they not when she was so talented and wanted to show them everything she could do? Tristan could do the same, if he bothered to talk more often (That isn’t true. They paid just as much attention to Tristan no matter what I did, his speaking habits aside.. ). Closing her eyes, Aurania said the words and the motions. A large spark ignited in her hands-
And the kitchen table was in flames.
Aurania opened her eyes and looked down in surprise. Normally she was too small to see over the table, so her mother let her sit on it while she worked in the kitchen. The house wasn’t too big, considering it was in Brosna, but it suited the family just fine. Sometimes Aurania stood up on the table, making her feel really, really tall. Almost as tall as daddy! And now part of that table, the part across from her and next to her baby brother, was burning. Aurania couldn’t say anything. She wanted to scream, to warn her mother, but no sound escaped her throat. Thankfully, for once, her brother cried out instead.
Her mother returned to the room quickly, and as soon as she saw the flames she reacted. With one arm she grabbed Aurania around the waist, pulling her off the table, and with the other she picked up her baby brother and rushed them both to another room. She smiled at them as she placed them on the floor. “You two wait here a moment. Aura, watch your brother.” And she vanished back into the kitchen.
Aura felt the sickly stab of fear in her stomach. She had always been a good child, and her parents were never the type to yell. But she just set the table on fire! How was her mother going to take that? Aurania took out her momentary fear on her little brother by giving him a glare, as if it was his fault. He just looked back at her, seemingly taking no offense. Her mother returned a few minutes later and Aurania braced herself.
When she found her mother’s arms around her and the sound of laughter, she was a bit confused. Were mothers supposed to hug children who light tables on fire? (Well.. Admittedly… In this family…)
Her mother picked her up with ease, still hugging her. Aurania felt her mother’s lips press on her forehead. “You really are your father’s daughter, Aura.”
For some reason those words scared her. Wasn’t she always her father’s daughter? (Who knew burning kitchen tables ran in the family..) And what did this mean? She was supposed to be a knight, like Mommy! She didn’t want to use magic! Her mother set her down and put two hands on her shoulders, looking at her straight on. Aurania’s blue eyes met her mother’s own gray ones. Despite the happy tone in her mother’s voice, was there a touch of sadness there?
Why was Mommy sad?
(… I’ve always wondered that myself…)
Aurania looked up and found herself standing in a temple. Again, she was herself, armor on and all grown up. She wasn’t sure how she had gotten there from her house in Brosna, but it wasn’t that big of a surprise. She always went to the temple. Aurania looked around, a small frown crossing her face.
This was a temple, but not her temple. It was much smaller, and much more… Lacking in decoration. Aurania looked around at the white and gold banners that fell from the high ceiling, and towards the statue of a knight with his sword. Despite being a follower of Mystra, she recognized a more familiar family patron. The statue was of Torm. This was a temple dedicated to Torm, and she was not alone in it.
At the foot of the alter stood a very young squire, dressed in simple practice armor and with a very old practice blade in her right hand. She could tell the squire was female, due to her frame and the long gold braid that trailed far down her back. Aurania hesitated and wondered if she was seeing a younger version of herself, or something else entirely. The girl looked to be about 11 or 12, which was the age Aurania had started her training in sword work. But up until now she had taken the place of herself in all of the scenes, and a temple of Torm made little sense.
The way her thoughts fell into place was strangely enlightening. Yes, she realized she was dreaming. She had been dreaming all this time. She was still in it, however, and that wasn’t a surprise. She had been aware of the dream before, at the very beginning, but her senses had abandoned her as soon as the scene changed. If she hadn’t left the dream the first time she realized what it was, she knew she wouldn’t leave now. She was going to be forced to stay and watch this entire thing play out, whether she liked it or not. Aurania normally welcomed dreams; her mentor had told her there was great importance in them. But the scenes she had walked through were… Memories, for the most part. How were they important? Except for the part with the two children…
Aurania’s thoughts were interrupted when she realized the girl at the alter was speaking. She was praying, out loud, her voice directed at the statue of Torm. Aurania found herself listening, despite the voice of doubt in her head. For some reason this scene was different from all the others… It felt like she didn’t belong here, nor was it was business to listen to what was between this child and her god. Still, the girl’s voice broke through her own thoughts, and she felt drawn into her words.
“I know you have picked me, though I wonder why.” The girl said this flatly, and Aurania could imagine her glaring at the statue. “Is it because no one else will? Is it because you pity me since I fit no where else?”
Despite the girl’s serious, deadpan tone, Aurania could feel so much more beyond the words. They spoke of years of pain, of sadness, of hopelessness. The girl was saying so much more then what her words betrayed.
The girl started to pace, quickly, almost as if she was trying to find another means to vent her own frustration, rather then let it influence her words. The girl seemed awfully wise and under control for someone so young. Aurania knew well of Torm’s discipline; but this girl seemed to have mastered it beyond a human level.
“Lord Derthor says I’m not meant to be here. My grandfather argues for my cause almost every day. Lord Derthor says I question too much, feel too deeply, and have little regard for rules that do not fit my emotions,” the girl stopped pacing, looking up at the statue again. “So why did you pick me? Since I’m such a problem case? See? I even question you now!”
The girl’s voice betrayed its first quiver of anger, and it forced her to pause. She sighed deeply, and dropped her sword onto the floor. The dull steel seemed to echo thunderously as it hit the marble floor. She remained quiet till the echo faded back to silence. “Lord Derthor says I question too often, which is the gravest insult to your honor. He says I’m not fit to serve the Lord of Duty because I don’t know the first thing about it. And not only am I ruining my own sense of honor, but my grandfather’s as well, since he keeps making excuses for me.”
The girl’s voice returned to its level calm again, and her head tilted forward in a sign of shame. The more Aurania heard, the more she felt a strange weight settling in her stomach. She should not be hearing this. This wasn’t her dream. Somehow she had gotten off her own path and stumbled into someone else’s. She wished she could leave, but there was no door behind her, nor any other door in the room.
“Do you know what you’ve gotten yourself into?” Aurania looked back at the girl, hearing the quiet change in her tone. She suddenly sounded more the age she looked. The girl sat down on the floor at the foot of the statue, still facing towards it and away from Aurania. “Because I’m not ready to give myself to a cause. I’m too incomplete myself.”
“I know its wrong to have selfish wants, but I can’t help it,” the girl continued on casually, and Aurania continued to listen. “All of my life I’ve been lagging behind everyone else. Everyone in my family has an amazing talent. All I can do is swing a sword and ‘have a good heart.’ You know what my grandfather told me? When I told him I was useless because I couldn’t cast a simple cantrip or start a fire with my hands? He said I had a good heart. So tell me, what good is a good heart if my emotions are considered too weak and vulnerable to have in your knighthood?”
Aurania had to admit it was a good question. It was often with that thought that she wondered about her brother’s training. Her mother’s as well. Not that Torm was an emotionless God; He just seemed a little cold for people like her brother and her mother, who seemed to have the limitless ability to care. Just like her father, for that matter. In fact, Aurania sometimes felt she was the only one in the family who had a limit to her ability to care… Again, her thoughts were cut off once the girl started to speak again, and Aurania was thankful for it.
“My grandfather says you have another order, one that is more fitting to someone like me, and he’s trying to get in touch with an old friend who is a high ranking officer in it. He wants me to go train with them instead, even though I think he’ll miss having me as his squire. I don’t believe it will work any better for me, but since my grandfather is trying so hard… Why don’t I make a deal with you?”
The girl’s request, though it seemed childish, carried with it a complete seriousness. Normally, Aurania would scoff at the idea of a child making a deal with their God… But for some reason she felt he was listening. The girl stood up, picking up her sword and holding it in front of her.
“I want a place to belong. If everyone else in my family belongs to Mystra, I’ll gladly belong to you as long as you really want me here. I will try to work harder once I am moved, and I will follow your law and make my grandfather proud. Please understand the rest of my family cares little for my achievement under your watch, but I’ll cast that aside if you can do this one thing for me,” Aurania felt the girl smile through her words. “I promise, this is a small thing, and it is in exchange for something big. My family is the most important thing to me; so ignoring their wishes is no easy feat. However, it will make it all the easier if…”
Aurania felt herself lean in, so she could hear the girl’s request. The girl’s voice dropped low, as if she was afraid by saying it, she could destroy all hope of it.
“If eventually, I can use magic. Do that and I’m yours till the day I die.”
The girl dropped to one knee, leaning on her practice sword. She was sealing her little deal with her God. Aurania felt like an idiot. The idea of someone wanting to use magic so badly and not being able to… It was so foreign to her. Everyone in her family used magic with ease… Except…
The girl stood up and turned to walk towards the doors. Aurania looked behind her and could see them, and then turned back to watch the girl as she approached. She willed herself to watch the girl’s face, despite the painful heaviness settling around her heart and in her chest. Everyone in her family had some magic capability, whether it be of the weave or god-given… The girl was now a foot in front of Aurania, and she hesitated. The girl looked forward as if she could feel Aurania’s presence, but could not see her. Aurania met the girl’s unseeing gaze. The girl bared a resemblance to her, only her eyes were a gray color and the loose locks of hair had a slight curl to them.
The only person in her family who had trouble using magic was her mother.
The girl walked through Aurania and out the door.
Aurania felt tears fall down her face. It had been strange to feel the image of her young mother walk through her; but for the first time in months she felt like she was close to her. Her mother and father had been gone for awhile now, but for one moment Aurania had been in the same room with her, next to her, and now it was gone.